Posted on Leave a comment

My mask was my smile

Some say that everyone needs to be happy with how they look.  I never got that.

How could I be happy with being over 150 pounds overweight and not being able to lose it?

Image by PDPics from Pixabay

I felt so miserable and depressed. But how could I show that to the world?

When I was younger someone told me that you need to decide to be happy. So I would smile and laugh and pretend that I was happy. Maybe looking happy would make me happy.

People said that I was such a positive person. When in reality there was a small amount of time I was actually happy.

I started to find happiness in food.  Chocolate, creamy sauces. While I was eating I was as close to happy as I could be.

Once I stopped eating the I was back to being unhappy.

It was all short lived.

One day I was travelling with work and had been told to take the weekend off and enjoy myself, so I did a sightseeing tour. 

Washington DC, June 2017

It was so wonderful. A beautiful June day, with blue sky’s,  warm weather, the sun was shining.

I had a wonderful time.

It made me think, why was I not enjoying life everyday?  Why only once in a while?

I decided to stop existing, stop only finding a little happiness in food.

I would start to do the activities that I wanted to do once I had lost the weight.  A time that I was thinking would never come.

I really decided to be happy.  To start living my life.  The more I lived and did the activities I wanted to do, the more weight came off and the easier it was to do things.

What activities are you waiting to do? Why wait?

Leave a Reply